Friday, May 13, 2005

Want Happiness? Kill a Shrink

Are you a "rage-a-holic"? Do you suffer from "attention deficit disorder"? How about a case of "post-traumatic stress disorder" from when you had to take your father to the prom because you are\were too fat and ugly? Whoops, I mean weight-challenged and saddled with Facial Indistinctiveness? God I love the excuses offered up today. We live in a world where no one is responsible for themselves. It's either some stigma they are suffering from or the fault of anyone but them. Yes friends, America has come from "The Great Generation" to the "Pussy Generation" - or to be more Politically Correct, "The Oozing Vagina Generation".

So first thing's first. If there is ever an oxymoron it is "political correctness". I am supposed to tailor my words based upon politicians? There are the same guys (and gals to a lesser extent) who fuck us on a daily basis. We vote for them, they fuck us. They fuck around on their wives, they double-cross, sellout their constituents, raise taxes, give HUGE tax breaks to their big company cronies, and then - when they get bored - give us all another really good shagging! "Political Correctness" makes my ass hurt how about you?

My ire is mostly reserved for the psychologists of today. Do you know what it takes to get a degeree in Psychology? A face and a check. These are the people who are pussifying America by coming up with new and innovative ways to pass off all your troubles on to everything and everyone. So you say you have a problem commiting? No your not a whore; it's your parents fault. So you say you drink too much? It's not your fault it's societies. So you say you like to molest horses? It's TV's fault for making Mr. Ed say dirty, dirty things. According to these Charlatans, the reason we're all so fucked up is because everyone else is so fucked up. It's like one big musical chair game except there are chairs aplenty but you catch different personality disorders by sitting in someone else's ass groove.

These people live in generalities. If you tell someone you were physically abused, they think they know all about you. They have textbooks saying "Person is X, they have Y as an issue, Z (usually drugs) will help them. They are STATS and MARKETING majors who learned the phrase "And how does that make you feel?" while selling to the willing masses the concept of complete unaccountability. Sure some people are so fucked up that maybe some councilling will help and good lord if you need help get it. But for every one of them, there are 400 that are just unhappy people who need to pay someone to listen to their trivial bullshit and be reassured IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT THEY ARE A LOSER.

Think about this the next time you think you need to talk to a therapist: the person sitting accross from you is more likely to commit suicide than help you with your problems. You are going to pay a grown person big money to listen to your problems just to tell you what you want to hear - IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. If you need reassurance that bad ask your kids - is it my fault? They'll say no. Don't have kids? Call your parents? If you're lucky they'll be good parents (but what's the chances of that if they raised a loser like you) and tell you "Yes! It is your fault! Quit fucking calling here until you pull your head out of your ass!" or they'll tell you exactly what you want to hear. No parents and no kids? Call a family member? No family ask a priest - it will help more if your a 12 year old altar boy but whatever. If you must see a therapist, just remember: are they thinking about your problems, or the $150 per hour you are giving them to drone on about how you didn't get the lead in a school play so you have self-esteem issues ... or maybe it's how the taste of a .45 caliber bullet would go down so they don't have to listen to your inane ramblings any longer.

I have an idea, kill your therapist (and as many of their colleagues as possible you can get in the collateral damage) and start a blog called "Pissing and Moaning".

Coming soon ... Finding Neverland


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