Monday, March 17, 2008

Morton Walmart can Suck My Nuts

As always, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping so I went to the local Walmart for presents for my three kids and my girlfriend's daughter. I had about thirty things going on at once that day but the kids come first so I took my time buying thoughtful presents for all of them. After shopping for about two hours, I had a cart loaded for Christmas and made my way to the front. Of course, there were plenty of people just like me so I sat in line for another 20 minutes waiting my turn patiently.

Once to the front, the girl at the counter did her job getting me my packages and quickly bagging them. I then loaded my cart back up. It was overflowing as I dropped a little over 3 bills just there.

As I made my way back to the front of the store to exit I was accosted by a Walmart greeter\douchebag who walked directly in my path and said, "Sir, I need to see your receipt."

You know, if I hadn't just spent 2.5 hours in your store and dropped over $300 I may have been in a better mood but I wasn't. On top of that, no one NEEDS to see anything of mine. You may WANT to, but you don't NEED to. So I simply looked at him and said "No".

Apparently, the really nice old people from the commercials are just that. In commercials. Because this guy became aggressive. "I NEED to look at your receipt," he stated more firmly this time.

I just spent all that time, now this douchebag wants to go through every item in my cart (probably 30-40 things with stocking stuffers) to make sure the cashier didn't miss a 99 cent bobble? Really? Obviously my winning personality came out as I can't stand little men who think they hold some sort of power.

"Ask the girl that just checked me out, I'm sure she' got a copy," I shot back and kept walking toward the door.

The guy then followed me out the door fucking BELLOWING "SIR! ... SIR!!!" So now, in a packed Walmart with people coming and going, this asshole decides to make a scene like I'm some guy walking out with all the fucking gold in Fort Knox. Once about 20 feet outside, I heard him very condescendingly yell "Have a NICE DAY sir!"

What a classy guy and a classy place! I've decided since then that my money is better spent elsewhere whenever possible. Not that Walmart gives a shit but maybe they'll start caring when more people quit using their store because of the greeter gestapo who has way, way, way too much time on their hands and a over-abundance of self-importance.

Walmart can get fucked.

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