Superbowl Best Bets

With the Super Bowl coming up this Sunday, America braces for what is sure to be a long, boring crapfest filled with East coast douchebags and networks like the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network fellating Tom Brady and the Manning family ad nauseum. With the 24/7 coverage however comes an opportunity to make some coinage on some lesser known prop bets this week. Just do a little research, keep your eyes glued to the 498 channels with live Super Bowl coverage and you're bound to glean some inside scoop. Here's some of the more profitable prop bets I have found:

- Announcers to mention Archie\Eli\Peyton Manning OVER 3.64 Million times in 5 hours broadcast laying 190 to win 100
- Framed pictures of hunky Tom Brady OVER 1,290 laying 320 to win 1.99
- Peyton Manning stealing Eli's spotlight by coming out of the closet laying 30 to win 50
- Rex Grossman fumbling the snap from center laying 50 to win 50
- Richard Seymour acting like a dickhead laying 500 to win 30 cents
- New England fans acting all smug and douchey laying 1000 to win a nickel
- Number of times audio catching Giants fans yelling "Hey Brady suck on dis!" OVER 7,200 laying 200 to win 100
- Pacman Jones starts a fight in a strip club during the game laying 3,000 to win a dollar
- Bill Belichik being arrested for being Zodiac laying 20 to win 150
- Randy Moss has to choke a bitch laying 50 to win 10

As far as the game goes I have to say that New England is by far the better team. Offensively I'd take Tom Brady and Randy Moss over Eli Manning and Plaxico Burress. Defensively I'd take Seymour and Asante Samuel over Michael Strahan and Sam Madison. On Special Teams I'll take Gostkowski over "Third Tynes a charm." So basically, if you're looking for a prediction, I'll give it to ya:

Tom Brady and the Pats winning the Super Bowl is like sex with Kobe Bryant - yell and scream all ya want it's still gonna happen. Pats 27, Giants 21.