Sunday, November 22, 2009


No, I am not starting a new rap group or referring to any new mainstream terrorist organization. BBD stands for "Bigger Better Deal". I am writing this to help what I believe is 90% of the world. It is one thing in life to want the most out of it, it is quite another to be continuously searching for the BBD. What's the difference? Take a look at how much you spent on psychiatric care last year.

I have a few friends who fit this mold. I have more than a few ex-friends who fit this even more. A person looking for the BBD hops from job to job, bed to bed, and whatever flavor of the month comes along. These are the people who often bitch about their lives and then regail you with stories of their grand plans. Of course, these grand plans often involve doing as little as possible and someone handing them millions of dollars. Often it involves their current shack-up and the fairy tale life they will be leading. Of course, a month from now, it will be a new fairy tale with a new co-star, but that point is oblivious to these people.

Need to spot a BBD person, just look for someone unreliable, under-educated, fucks anything that moves, often bouncing between jobs, and tells you about how great their future will be. They only need to fit 4 of the 5 criteria to be considered a BBD. Here are some of my favorite example from people I have known. Names have been changed just because I am about to slander the shit out of them and the main thing about these opportunistic fuck-sticks is their ability to take advantage of a situation.

Jerome - The epitome of BBD. Couldn't keep a job, girlfriend, or word if his life depended on it. In the few years I knew him, he had no less than 10 jobs and plans to: Go to Europe and do construction engineering (despite the fact he had only a high school diploma), open an "awesome" night club (except he didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out), and get a job doing porn with strippers (about the best thing he could hope for).

Alexandria- If Jerome was the male side of the equation, here comes the female side. Landra is well known for jumping into bed with just about any guy but she always has to be in a relationship where a guy takes care of her. Of course, that doesn't keep her from hopping into the sack with his friends or the boyfriends of her own friends. Her jobs have been varied but she was trying to get a degree. Either way, this is the type of person who you make plans with you and the day you are supposed to do something, she either wants to change the plans or has already found something else to do. On one of my ex-wife's birthday parties, she wanted to bring a guy she had known all of 2 weeks from work to join a group of us. I told her "no" because it was a tight group and none of us knew the guy. She ended up cancelling plans with both him and us to go to a concert in St. Louis with some guy she knew from out west. BBD at it's finest ...

Gabriel - Though possessing loyalty, Gabe often finds it extremely hard to be reliable. He can keep a steady job but that's about where it stops. Though he finds ample time to fuck anything that moves, he has trouble keeping plans with people as the BBD always comes up. I have known him to make plans for a weekend only to not so much as call until four or five days passed to tell me "sorry, something came up".

Tammy - The epitome of the BBD. She can't get enough from anyone or anything. Fucks anything that moves. Regails you with how she's going to make millions. Talks about her fabulous upbringing. Yet, the BBD is always a bed, job, or stone throw away.

So ask yourself, are you constantly looking for the BBD? Is the grass always greener until you get there? If it is ... then you are part of the world us normal people can do without.

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