Thursday, April 10, 2008

Miss Spoke in 2008!

As I write this blog please understand that this may be my last. I am hunkered down in Morton, IL, pinned down by sniper fire from Sri Lankan terrorists. If things go badly though, I want my last moments on Earth to go to a worthy cause: Hill-Dog in '08!

Connor just returned fire from his AK-47. That'll buy us some time ...

Anyhow, I am worried that this country may fall in the hands of the inexperienced and idealistic Barack Obama. Do you really think he's ready to answer that phone at 3am? I don't. I mean, if Hillary answers it, it'll just mean another day of "mispoke" tales of how she dodged sniper fire on a peace mission, or how Chelsea almost died on 9/11 dodging building debree while jogging, mothers who died because they did not have insurance, and countless other "mispoken" things that just show she's a little tired and not at all a liar.

If Barack answers it he may have to actually make decisions and not be all sleepy in stuff. Can we trust him to not be sleepy?!? What if he "mispokes" even worse? He could accidentally tell someone to bomb a 3rd world country instead of ordering his latte. Do you want that blood on your hands???

With Hillary we know where she stands ... on a record of doing the opposite of everything she says while riding her husbands coattails to the fullest! I mean she was against the war before Obama was against the war - despite her voting for it and all. Hell, she was probably black before Obama was too! I want another politician like George Bush who can piss in my ear while shitting on my rights. That is what this country stands for!

Jesus, the sniper fire is so thick you could cut it with a knife! Caitlin just took out a couple with a claymore ...

Anyway, if we vote for Barack the terrorists will win! It is that important. We need to let in Michigan delegates - whose ballots only had Clinton on it - because it's the right thing to do. Sure both Obama and Clinton camps agreed to exlude Michigan and Florida primaries, but that was before she knew she would be the only candidate on the ballot ... and she was the favorite to win the election. How could she possibly know that then? Isn't it good enough she realizes it now!?!

OK, I have to get back on my howitzer. The snipers are everywhere and I want to make sure we drive them off before Sinbad gets here. Not the comedian, the actual pirate!

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