Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Random Pissings

I have ticket #7683201 in the Anna Nicole Smith baby-daddy lottery.

I hear Chicago QB Rex Grossman doesn't masturbate. He tried once, but every time he tried fondling his balls he would just fumble them.

And now the winner of the K-Fed versus Britney custody battle ... All the fucking shrinks these kids will need when they realize who their parents are.

Oxymoron of the day: I heard a girl referred to as "major jailbate".

Politically Incorrect quote of the day: Some asshole Arab was in the middle of my girlfriend's parking lot backing up his mini van ... Degree of difficulty: he was not looking. He damn near hit my car before realizing I was behind him and gave a half-wave when I pulled around him. I responded with "I sure hope the flying lessons are going better than the driving lessons asshole!"

If you have 5-chins do you really need to order cheese fries as an appetizer?

... And remember fellas, you're only queer if you're on the bottom!

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