Thursday, June 15, 2006

They call me "Tater Salad"

Since I have been devoting time to persoanl subjects on and off lately, I thought I would share a couple things of interest. My girlfriend runs background checks for a living ... there's some good news. Luckily, your record only consists of convictions and I retain the title of the "Teflon Don" now that John Gotti is playing with the fishes in hell. Both charges she found are listed as DISMISSED ... Who's your daddy, bitches!?!

At some point, my buddy Dan (one of Illinois's finest) decided he would lookup my arrest record ... more good news. "Jesus, it's longer than my fucking arm!" Dan told me - not joking. It is true; I have scraped a time or two with the law but nothing for the last several years. Of course, that's not to say I am innocent or on the straight and narrow, I just know which laws are say "morally defunct" and choose to break those.

Actually, if you have never been arrested, go to Peoria County and just get nailed on a D&D (drunk and disorderly). It will be worth it to go to county and watch all of your brethren stumble in throughout the night. I was sitting there once - mob action arrest which (of course) was dismissed for lack of cooperation by the victim (smart move on his part, btw!) - chained to the bench in the booking area. Jesus, you couldn't pay to see a show that good. That night I saw dealers, hookers, and even a wagon load of underage partiers. It was the best people watching you could ever do. My god, the stories, things you see, stuff you hear. I could write like 5 books just from that 6 hours ... priceless!

On a side note, running a red light, at night, in front of Morton PD is probably not the best way to avoid the police. At least the fine man in blue let me off with a written warning. Just waiting on Dan to call me as he does every time my name comes accross the wire.


Blogger G13 said...

Everyone I know who has spent time in Morton (it feels like prison time) has ran a red light! I think it might be something about morton! Wendy and I have actually stopped at different lights/different times and then just went through them like they were stop signs. Morton just does something to people! And...with Wendy and I...someone else in the car had to tell us we just ran a red light! Get out before you become one of them! It's scary what it does to your brain!

11:42 PM  

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