Monday, May 15, 2006

Random Musings 10: Spit-take Theater Edition

The greatest review of Brokeback Mountain came this weekend when Nick D told me: "I went to it for the art of the picture ... but when (Heath Ledger) turns Jake Gyllenhal over and then spits on his hand for lube - I knew I had wasted 2 hours of my life."

While playing Texas Hold'em this weekend, Jessica (Oreo) sadly learned that there is no "race card."

When your girlfriend says "You really need to be in my mouth right now" you tend to give her complete and total attention.

South Dakota has passed a ban on abortions. In other news, South Dakota health workers are concerned with the dramatic rise of pregnant women falling down steps at a rate of 30,000% higher than just 6 months ago.

I think it's safe to say that Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter will never have to worry about being shot in the face ... unless she goes hunting with her dad that is.

It's only May 15th and already the Cubs are 8.5 games back from division leading St. Louis ... I guess we'll be hearing "Wait 'til next year" just about any time.

My new king sized bed has been officially "broken in" ... next up: the lazy boy, the dining room, kitchen, front room, oversized chair, my bar ... note to self, bring lube to avoid spitting on your hand ... also your girlfriend might be helpful as well.


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