Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Originality is Overrated

So it came to me. I was sitting in my lazyboy, drinking a diet caffeine free coke, and watching Spiderman 2 when it finally dawned on me: originality sucks. Why be original when you can just rehash the same old shit and people - like sheep - will follow you for it?

Right now, Hollywood has over 160 prequels\sequels IN THE MAKING and that's just for 2006! Original, creative stories are overblown! Christ, it's much easier to find a cult of brain dead drones and give them a shitbird package of cliches and ignorant plots. It's a sure money maker. Forget about art ... films are a bottom line business and the business is this: it takes 10x the money to market a new movie than it does a sequel or spinoff of a video game, comic book, etc.

So the next time I see any of you douche bags standing in a fucking line to watch the latest Harry Potter, Star Wars ass droppings of George Lucas, or any of the shit-for-creativity, plot-so-simple-my-6-month-old-can-follow-along comic book movies just remember ... I have a car and I will run you down.

Take Hollywood's dick out of your collective mouths and start thinking for a change. How many times can we dust off old comic book characters, change the plot by a cunt-whisker, and have a "must-see summer blockbuster". These are the same fuckwads who - as children - probably had mom and dad read Alice in Wonderland to them 50 million fucking times. That's all it is anymore. The same shitty movie, the same shitty plot, just bigger budgets and more drones forking over money to be lead like sheep to a shearing.

When I see movies like "Something About Mary" make millions while "Office Space" takes years to be discovered, it tells me that I could spew bile from my ass with better taste than the public in general. To call you "sheep" is actually an insult to sheep.

I have a terrific idea for a movie! Let's make a movie about a super hero who battles with keeping his\her identity, stopping some mad super villain from destroying\taking over\shitting-on the world or city of super hero's residence. All the while, we can show how the super hero tries to lead a normal life usually falling for a love interest. Instead of interesting story lines and character development, we'll really on old comic books so we can keep the story so simple a retarded amoeba can follow it. And - for the love of God - let's hope the sheep will not ask the question: "In a country filled with thousands of cities, why is it that super villains choose to wreak havoc in one where the superhero is known to thwart minor and major criminals alike?"

Provided none of the sheep start asking questions, I think that says "Blockbuster" all the way! I'm gonna be rich!

2 Comments:

Blogger kevin said...

Eventually they'll come out with "Superfriends: The Movie" at which point geeks the world over will wake up to stained bedsheets.

10:23 PM  
Blogger Oreo said...

I agree, movies that are a remake, sequel, or from a comic book should have low budgets and go straight to DVD. Real movies though, they should get the credit they really fucking deserve.

3:53 PM  

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