Saturday, September 22, 2012

Romney Reboot 10.0: Romney Shows his Feelings

With the Romney campaign on it's 9th reboot, I figure the boys are just about out of ideas.  So why not turn to somewhere else that's out of ideas: Hollywood. I think this stump speech will play well to his base.  Also, he could even incorporate Sandra Bullock into it because she's actually been seen with a black person ...

Mitt: I want to tell you a story. I'm going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. Go ahead. Close your eyes, please. This is a story about a little boy riding his olympic dancing horse home from practice one sunny afternoon. I want you to picture this little boy. Suddenly a ghetto station wagon races up. Two gay men jump out and grab him. They drag him into a nearby field and they tie him up and they rip his $2,000 riding suit from his body. Now they go through his wallet. First one, then the other, raping his wallet, shattering everything innocent and monetary with a communist paw in a fog of entitled breath and sweat. And when they're done, after they've taxed his tiny wallet, murdered any chance for him to have a tax shelter, to have life beyond his own country, they decide to use him for target practice. They start throwing full arugula plants at him. They throw them so hard that it tears the flesh all the way to his bones. Then they urinate on him and the American flag. Now comes the hanging. They have a rope. They tie a noose. Imagine the noose going tight around his neck and with a sudden blinding jerk he's pulled into the air and his feet and legs go kicking. They don't find the ground. The hanging branch isn't strong enough because it was made by Mexicans. It snaps and he falls back to the earth. So they pick him up, throw him in the back of the truck and drive out to a Kenyan bridge over Kenyan Creek. Pitch him over the edge. And he drops some forty-seven feet down to the creek bottom below. Can you see him? His taxed, beaten, broken wallet soaked in their urine, soaked in their socialism, soaked in his own red-white-and-rich blood, left to die. Can you see him? I want you to picture that little boy. Now imagine he's a corporation.

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