Friday, October 21, 2005

Help Wanted

Web Developer\Designer Wanted
Good hours but occasional weekends.
Great Pay with good benefits.
Must not mind hazardous work environments.
Previous Jihad experience a plus.
Occasional suicide bombings should be expected.

That's right folks, Al-Qaeda is now hiring. Wanting to promote their message of intolerance and hate on the WWW, Al-Qaeda is looking for a few good web developers. Here’s a look careers of former Al-Qaeda web developers …

Mulomar Al-Jazeen – ORACLE Database Administrator who was shot during the interview process when he accidentally answered “No” to the standard “Do you hate the American infidels especially the Yankees?” question.

Osama Osama – A C# programmer who was working on the “Al-Qaeda for Kids” website when he was accidentally fragged thus ending the controversial, in-house “suicide bomber training” program.

Achmad Simsalabim – U.S. native and HTML designer whose less than stellar Arabic lead to his downfall. Achmad published a message on the live website that said “We will die infidels” instead of “You infidels will die”. Achmad was immediately fired and his severance was his own head.

Samir Almegdad – A "go-between" who took the specs from the users to the engineers. Samir perished in an office prank gone wrong when the spec sheets were coated with a highly toxic nerve agent.

Mohammad Atta – Great promise as a Network Administrator. His career took a downward turn when he accidentally e-mailed the entire Al-Qaeda usenet with vacation pictures of him and his friends in Las Vegas.

Though to be fair, here is a recent statistical analysis and breakdown of former and current Al-Qaeda developers:
5 Active Developers
47 Developers killed during interview process
12 Developers killed during mandatory weapons training
37 Developers killed by American bombs
14 Developers killed in suicide bombing
23 Developers killed by their own bombs
6 Developers who got bombed and then were shot for drinking alcohol

Whoops … make that 3 Active Developers and 25 Developers killed by their own bombs … That’s 3 spots they now have open! I have the contact number if anyone is interested?


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