Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Stupid Soccer Moms

The other day, my wife left the tv on ABC. I walked into the room to be utterly fascinated about a story about how hard gas prices have hit soccer moms. It was the hard-hitting news you might expect from one of the shittiest news teams in town. First, let's set up the story line:

Problem: Gas prices are causing everything to go up from food to shoes to - you guessed it - driving!
Premise: What is a soccer mom to do?

The soccer mom has to drive her two kids around - now read that very slowly - TWO KIDS. Getting them to their daily appointments. She also needs to buy food at the grocery, go to the bank - for what I wonder considering she doesn't do shit, buy the kids shoes and then get home to - my guess - the wetback nanny they pay $4 hour to watch their kids and clean the house. Her last stop before the house though will be the dreaded gas station in her fully loaded SUV.

Throughout are hero's trip we learn that prices are going up everywhere affecting day camps, grocery bills, and basically all merchandise that is shipped to stores. No shit!?! In her final stop, Super Mom is met with a $60 gas bill for her SUV. When asked, "Is it time to give up the SUV?" She laughs merrily and says "No, no not yet." What a happy ending!!!

It's cluesless twats like this that I blame for gas prices.

1st) Newsflash sweetheart - YOU ONLY HAVE TWO KIDS! My wife fits 3 kids into her 4-door Grand Prix. I fit 2-kids in my 2-door Monte Carlo.

2nd) Instead of bitching about gas prices, maybe you should teach your children how to ride bicycles. OR better yet, get off your fat lazy ass and get a job like most Americans.

3rd) Of course it's not time to give up the SUV because you're not paying for it. You trapes around town trying to give your life some sort of meaning while your husband works his ass off toward an early grave!

If we're going to do a news story about the reality of the gas prices, let's look at the working poor not the inconvenienced rich.

ABC News and your dumb bitch of a soccer mom can both BITE MY SACK ...


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