Parenting Tips from an Islamic Fundamentalist

Though the Koran strictly outlaws soaps, perfumes, and deodorant, children's bathing is still to be done once per month whether needed or not.

Teach your children right from wrong:
1) Democratic elections are "Satanic" ... Suicide bombing is a blast!
2) The Great Satan oppresses our people, kill the infidels at all costs ... all women should be covered head to toe and should speak only when spoken too. (Actually, I kinda like that part minus the burqa)

According to Allah, our children have no need for Math or Science. Any teachings must be Koran-based or use the supplemental teaching companion of Smith and Wesson.

If you catch your child masturbating explain to him that this is the work of the great Satan and then cut off his hand.

If your child is caught masturbating a second time, deny his existence, take him to the town square, and - with the help of your family and neighbors - stone him to death.

To show your son has matured to manhood, remember to take the diaper off his ass and afix it upon his head.

If your son or daughter will not stop crying tell them "Your daddy was a suicide bomber because you cried."