Random Musings 5: The Enzyte Strikes Back

Is it wrong to pistol whip a hooker to death just to get an erection?

Here are three words that would put the fear of God in any parishoner: Father Michael Jackson.

I hate Google. Every time I type in "Tijuana Donkey Show" I end up getting a whole bunch of links to fucking horse racing sites.

If you need any naked pictures of Bea Arthur, I know a guy ...

I was extremely disappointed to see Paris Hilton did not take my advice and name her new clothing line "Cum Dumpster".

When you're in "the land down under", do you proposition a girl to "go up" on you?

I am truly conflicted, this weekend I have the choice of watching a stunning Jacques Cousteau documentary filled with educational and scientific amazement ... or HBO is showing the just as informative "Pimps Up, Ho's Down" documentary.

When you're single, whether it's a party, bar, or after hours gathering ... it's ALL about the chick-to-dick ratio.

I love when I hear women talk about "all men are dogs". So yeah, men fuck around. The problem with your logic sweetheart is that men are fucking around with WOMEN. I sure as hell never went to a club so I could jack off in the bathroom.

Speaking of clubs, we know your secret women. The only reason you are at a club is to get laid. PERIOD. If you are not there to get laid then DON'T GO! I don't walk into McDonald's and ask to see what's not on the menu.