Headlines for November 29th, 2005

Study: buttock fat makes injections less effective
Also makes reaching climax 50% less likely for your sex partner.

Bush Cites Tools to Fight Illegal Immigration
As people realized for years by our non-existent border control - the INS are "Tools".

Video Footage Show Four Western Peace Activists Kidnapped
In the HA-FUCKING-HA department, stupid hippies find out their peace mission to "save" those who hate us, results in those who hate us, hating them as much as we hate them ... or more.

Bush: Early Iraq Exit Would Be a Mistake
Not say, as big as a mistake as doctoring intelligence and invading Iraq in the first place, but it maybe, possibly, could be a mistake ... or not.

Detroit Tunnel to Canada Closed for 2 Hours After Power Loss
The only reason this made the news is because no one really cared during that 2 hours.

Lifsaving Technique To Be Changed
Now to be referred to as the life extending, possibly do nothing technique.

Peanut allergy kills Canadian teen after kiss
Great, yet another reason women can weasel their way out of giving you a teabag.

Cunningham plea sheds light on extreme case of corruption
The Fonz saddened by Conspiracy-amundo.