Sunday, November 06, 2005

Celebrity News

Since we all love celebs so much and feel the need to follow their every move with Entertainment Tonight, E!, and even ESPN Hollywood (which makes me want to castrate every ESPN programming exec) I decided that I will turn my blog over to celebrity news to help people follow the comings (or is it cummings?) and goings of their favorite celebs.

Tom Cruise tries to squash rumors of his own homosexuality by having a night on the town with NFL quarterbacks Tim Couch and Jeff Garcia.
Headline: Cruise jumps on Couch; Garcia Lion

Angelina Jolie - known for practically molesting her own brother two years ago during an awards show - caught in kinky threesome with Zeke the tire changer and Billy Bob the squishy guy at the local Walmart.
Headline: White Trash Girl Interrupted

Edward James Almos gives a long, boring lecture at the World Series in their tribute to the All-Lation team. Amazingly enough, latinos dominate the MLB AND are quickly outgorwing blacks as the United State's second most ethnic group whiel this year's world series was the lowest rated ever. Any coincidence they would have this "tribute" at such a time?
Headline: Grandstand and Deliver

Heidi Klum is in trouble. After having her first child, Klum is in trouble for child abuse observed on a private beach where her and boyfriend - singer/songwriter Seal - own their summer home.Headline: Klum clubs baby Seal


Blogger G13 said...

Klum clubs baby Seal...That was just too funny.

I still want to throw a stapler at you.

12:29 PM  

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