Caitlin, Gay Cowboys, and ADD-OM
Friday was the day that Caitlin Mackenzie came to join our family. She was 6lbs. 6oz. and 18 3/4 inches. She is doing well and so is "Pissing and Moaning Princess" (note to self - put Pam's blog up as a link).
So when everyone is wondering where I was ... now you know.
And if you were not wondering about me, thinking about me, or wishing that you could put your life savings into my new doomsday cult ... you need to ask yourself do you really have a life worth living?
BTW, just read where Tennessee Jed has ADD and it really makes me wonder. If I had a nickel for every time I made a statement and someone asked "Where the fuck did that come from?", I'd have a shitload of nickels.
Example:
The other day someone asked me, "Did you hear about the explosions in Pekin?"
My answer, "Nah, every time I watch tv it's just about a bunch of gay cowboys eating pudding."
Explaination:
I had not heard about the explosion ... first thought was terrorism but why Pekin ... then I thought, about 9/11 because I was thinking about terrorism ... On 9/11 hundreds of FDNY fireman lost their lives which made me think of Tommy Gavin (Dennis Leary) the main character of Rescue Me ... This made me think of one of my favorite lines from Rescue Me when Tommy sees a fellow fire-fighters picture in the FDNY Calendar. The firefighter is dressed in chaps, shirtless, with a scarf in his pocket. The other firefighter asks, "Does this look gay?" Gavin responds, "No, no you look like the Marlboro Man ... If he smoked cock instead of cigarettes." ... This got me thinking about South Park and the episode where the Cannes Film Festival moves to South Park. Cartman doesn't want to go see the independent movies because "It's always about a bunch of gay cowboys sitting around eating pudding."
All of this went through my mind in less than a heartbeat and I responded without hesitation or even pause for dramatic effect ... I think I have ADD-OM (ADD-On Meth) ...
BTW, some people referred to this sense of humor and ADD-OM responses as my "quirky" sense of humor. I was then forced to donkey punch them in the back of the head for using the word "quirky" ...
So when everyone is wondering where I was ... now you know.
And if you were not wondering about me, thinking about me, or wishing that you could put your life savings into my new doomsday cult ... you need to ask yourself do you really have a life worth living?
BTW, just read where Tennessee Jed has ADD and it really makes me wonder. If I had a nickel for every time I made a statement and someone asked "Where the fuck did that come from?", I'd have a shitload of nickels.
Example:
The other day someone asked me, "Did you hear about the explosions in Pekin?"
My answer, "Nah, every time I watch tv it's just about a bunch of gay cowboys eating pudding."
Explaination:
I had not heard about the explosion ... first thought was terrorism but why Pekin ... then I thought, about 9/11 because I was thinking about terrorism ... On 9/11 hundreds of FDNY fireman lost their lives which made me think of Tommy Gavin (Dennis Leary) the main character of Rescue Me ... This made me think of one of my favorite lines from Rescue Me when Tommy sees a fellow fire-fighters picture in the FDNY Calendar. The firefighter is dressed in chaps, shirtless, with a scarf in his pocket. The other firefighter asks, "Does this look gay?" Gavin responds, "No, no you look like the Marlboro Man ... If he smoked cock instead of cigarettes." ... This got me thinking about South Park and the episode where the Cannes Film Festival moves to South Park. Cartman doesn't want to go see the independent movies because "It's always about a bunch of gay cowboys sitting around eating pudding."
All of this went through my mind in less than a heartbeat and I responded without hesitation or even pause for dramatic effect ... I think I have ADD-OM (ADD-On Meth) ...
BTW, some people referred to this sense of humor and ADD-OM responses as my "quirky" sense of humor. I was then forced to donkey punch them in the back of the head for using the word "quirky" ...
posted by Reed at 8:45 PM
3 Comments:
Umm..I think I have some extra meds if you're looking. Only you can take a story about your new baby and turn it into a gay cowboy reference.
I used to be a cowboy, but had to stop because no matter where I put my hanky the other cowboys thought I was gay.
Congratualtions on the baby. Ok, so where do I find the gay cowboys eating pudding and do they share? I still can't handle most solid foods...kinda like Caitlin, huh, small world...
You are just so quirky! That quirky sense of humor of yours...
Yeah, a child was born and you turned it into a gay cowboy story...just makes me wonder WHY exactly do you think so much about gay cowboys??? Hmmmm.
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