Monday, August 29, 2005

Mork calling Orton ... come in Orton

On Sunday, I brought home my new daughter and began working on getting everyone accustomed to the changes. First there was BooBoo who was so excited (we were concerned about his reaction) that he would not let "his baby" (as he calls her) leave his sight. Pam came home to a cleaned, slighlty re-arranged house. And - of course - Caitlin found her new bassonet and living quarters far different than the white walls and cute nurses at Methodist. In all of the excitement, I forgot to check in on a number of things including my beloved Chicago Bears.

It was not until Monday morning watching ESPN that I truly realized that Aliens have landed and are taking over the world through sports television. First, Cedric Benson signed with Chicago ending a 36 day holdout. I was expecting this guy to sit out most of the season like his hero Ricky "Dopey" Williams, and yet here he is in practice. Next - and here is where the green people come in - Chicago announced they would start rookie Kyle Orton as their QB. Now in Chicago, a QB change is much like a snow day for District 150 ... anything short of a nuclear attack means the status quo.

So now, Chicago has signed their top pick and replaced their horrendous starting QB with an actual prospect. The next thing I know, Denver will cut Maurice Clarett for being a punk mot-- .... WHAT? They DID?

Oh god, everyone listen close. Get to your cellars. Stock up on solar powered batteries and all of the other stupid shit War of the Worlds taught us (like a force fields - when they exist - will be based upon the health of the beings inside a vehicle and not by things like engineering or laws of physics - ok, personal bitch about that movie). Anyway, Chicago is already oveerrun by the alien hoard. The next things to happen will be:

T.O. reporting to camp and being productive
Randy Moss towing the company line in Oakland
Tim Rattay beating out the #1 overall pick for the starting job in San Francisco


Oh Christ! They are here!


Post a Comment

<< Home