Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Thank God for the Assholes at The American Descency Assoication!

Douche Baggery and the Super Bowl

With all of the worlds problems solved, the American Decency Association (or Asshat) takes on the Super Bowl!

February 6, 2006 - Superbowl and the churchThis was a football game. That's all it was. The NFL's championship football game. And corporate America and network television, with each passing year, has blown it into a bigger and bigger financial boondoggle to benefit greedy, financial entrepreneurs - and millions sucker for it in the name of family entertainment - even the church.
Time for a lecture from God-boy.

SuperBowl and the church
As I reviewed the video tape of last night's Superbowl half-time show with Mick Jagger strutting about singing sexualized songs that necessitated ABC edits and with multitudes of cheering ones gathered around the entertainment platform, I was sickened by the many evidences of undiscerning, thoughtless conformity.

I am so glad we have this tool "reviewing" tape that "sickens" him. Apparently, these douche bags have never heard of a remote control.

It's a football game but with all of the fanfare surrounding it you would think that it was a presidential inauguration or the coronation of a king or queen.
It is the biggest football game of the season. It has become a worldwide event. Who the fuck watches a presidential inauguration?

This was a football game. That's all it was. The NFL's championship football game. And corporate America and network television, with each passing year, has blown it into a bigger and bigger financial boondoggle to benefit greedy, financial entrepreneurs - and millions buy into it in the name of family entertainment.
First, I always love to repeat the exact same paragraph at least a couple of times when I am talking out of my ass. Second, football is not "family entertainment". It is a violent sport mostly watched by men drinking beer, eating pizza, and gambling on the game. I'm not sure where the "family entertainment" part comes into play.

And the Christian church.
Time for a soap box!

Let's all gather around the television set and conform to whatever is foisted before our eyes when we don't know what's coming next.
Apparently, this douche bag is clairvoyant. The entire purpose of television is to show us something we have not seen. Also, there is still a remote control available.

So here we are gathered in our living rooms and here's an ad for Pizza Hut featuring Jessica Simpson with an adolescent boy with sexual allusions of seduction.
If I said it once, I've said it a million times, Jessica Simpson is the anti-christ.

Or it might be that you are suddenly hit with a movie promo that shows a married man ogling the prevalent cleavage of a female jogger.
Read: I can't outright blame the Jews but you see where I am going with this.

And as you are gathered, what do you say to your kids or your youth group at these moments?
Well, first if you gather up a youth group to watch a violent sport filled with beer commercials and over the top ads that cost $3 million per spot, I would say "Hey look at the dumbass who organized a Christian youth group to watch this shit!"

How long before we just say as Christians enough is enough!Yes, bring on censorship! If it was good enough for the Romans - you know with the whole killing of Christ thing - then it's good enough for us!

I don't want even one of my loved ones sitting before these flagrant displays to think that I approve of this fiasco of materialism, sexual innuendo and blatant godlessness.
Then shut the fuck up and change the fucking channel you pompous, self-important, holier-than-thou, douche bag! Why is it that every religious zealot believes that their PERSONAL outrage should dictate to the world. You are no better than fucking Muslim terrorist , you simply choose not to blow yourself up ... which atcually is a fucking shame.

And what do we do with verses like:
"And be not conformed to this world ...." [Romans 12:1,2]"
I will place no wicked thing before my eyes." [Psalm 101:3a]"
Love not the world ... the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life ..." I John 2:15-17]
"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness ...." [Matthew 6:33,34]
I see your bible verses and raise you:
"let the good times roll let them knock you around" [The Cars-Let the Good Times Roll]
"And I think to myself, what a wonderful world" [Louie Armstrong-What a Wonderful World]
"... she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smells funny" [The Bloodhound Gang-Kiss Me where it Smells Funny]

It disgusts and saddens me when churches, too, fall right in line with the world in needing to have a Superbowl Party. Baby Jesus cries because people watch football.

For what purpose? What can they possibly hope to accomplish in the name of Jesus Christ who calls us out to be holy as He is holy? [I Peter 1:15,16]
Uhm, religion boy, does watching television serve a purpose for Christ? If it does, then Christ REALLY loves me!

Instead, why don't we behave and live lives that are Christian on the evening of the Superbowl (and every day as Christ calls us to live)?
Jesus, what fucking Super Bowl party were you at?

Visit a loved one.
Probably because they do not want to be bothered with your dumb ass while they watch the Super Bowl.

Visit a lonely one at a senior citizen facility.
So they can scream incoherently because your blocking their television ... and get off their damn lawn!

Have some lonely ones over for food and fellowship and play board games.
They cancelled. Your a douche bag and they don't want to listen to your sermons ... plus the Super Bowl is on.

Have a small group Bible study.
Awesome! Sitting around with like-minded halfwits bitching about the Super Bowl. Count me in!

But, to sit and let the world (corporate America) pour out its multimillion dollar ads with sexual imagery and themes undermining Biblical standards of holiness, righteousness, purity and modesty, doesn't make any sense - in His name.
Since when do we sit around in God's name to watch television? Dear Lord please bless these Cheesy Poofs and Miller Lites. Please allow Seattle to score just one more touchdown so I can cover the spread. And dear lord, if you would like me to do a line of blow off the stripper's ass give me absolutely no sign whatsoever ... Thy will be done (SNNNNOOOOORRRRTTTT).

Would Jesus be pleased?
Not really, he took Seattle and the points, but Abraham made a killing! On a side note: ya gotta love a good bible pun.

See also our bulletin insert from 2004
... bulletin insert tentatively named - Things Douche Bags with too much time on their hands care about.

In closing, the slippery slope exists. Without prayerful involvement, this, too, is an area where things will only get worse.Speak up.
Bring on the censorship!

American Decency Association
Am I D Ass

Bill Johnson, President
Personally I am offended by his name which is two innuendos about penises. Willy Johnson, please change your name or else I will write a shitty letter explaining why God hates you.

If anyone feels Bill Johnson sucks big donkey balls, you can drop him a letter at:
I am personally offended by this e-mail address because it contains the letters "BJ". Also, some youths may believe the "b" stands for "Big"; we spoke with Mrs. Ivana Johnson and she says, sadly it does not.
My own personal belief is that anyone in this association should be spade or neutered so they cannot contaminate the rest of the world. That would be the decent thing to do.


Blogger G13 said...

But it was the super bowl...It's the american way. If he is not for the super bowl...then he is not for America! He would then be a terrorist...So he would need to be shot with everyone else in his terrorist group. We must protect America from these people who hate us. That is what George Bush says.

8:03 PM  

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