Kerry Wood Watch

Well, the decision to name Kerry Wood as the closer for the Chicago Cubs is already paying off dividends ... for the NL Central.

Wood showed his mastery today as Carlos Zambrano pitched a near perfect 2-hitter through the 8th inning. Wood came on in the 9th and his first pictch as the Cubs closer was a microcosm of his career as he hit a batter. This was a sign of what was to come as woods gave up 2 hits, 3 earned runs, and a walk to go with the hit batsmen.

If it weren't for Fukudome's bottom of the ninth heroics hitting a home run to tie that game at 3-3, Chicago would have fallen with Wood starting the season 0-1 despite no longer being a starter. Eventually, Bob Howry took the loss for Chicago giving up a sacrifice fly in the 10th to Tony Gwynn, but I think we all know who blew this game for the Cubs!

Thank you Kerry from one Cardinal fan to a washed-up, never-was-or-will-be.

Yet More Random Pissings

After several high-profile "gay sex" scandals it seems the Republicans are coming around to the fact that homosexuality is genetic and not a choice. White House press secretary had this to say: "With the recent news and scientific research. The Republican party wants to acknowledge that Senator Larry Craig - and many like him - did not CHOOSE to have gay sex in a men's bathroom; instead they were BORN to have gay sex in a men's bathroom."

Kerry Wood has been named the Chicago Cub's closer for the 2008 season ... That is all.

Borrowed: When I go out, I want to go like my granpa - quietly and in his sleep ... Not screaming like the rest of the passengers in his car.

Paris Hilton wants to pick her new BFF in a reality tv show. Paris wants to be able to impart her knowledge upon her about things such as: how to be useless on $5,000,000 a day, proper cell phone etiquette during sex, and how to hide a herpes outbreak and while flashing your hoo-hah to anyone with a camera.

With the trade of QB Brian Griese and no offseason movement, the Chicago Bears will enter their July camp with Rex Grossman, Kyle Orton, and a quarterback to be named later. If you ask me, the QB depth chart is shaping up like a washed-up hooker: two useless boobs and a big gaping hole.