Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Prejudice and Racism

Ever wonder if you are prejudice? Chances are ... you are. Sure we all like to think we are open-minded, but there are things that shape our lives that make us distrust others based on skin color. Agree or disagree I could care less. Most people - ESPECIALLY WHITE PEOPLE (read white guilt) - are afraid to admit their prejudice because in today's world they will be banished into obscurity (read Rush Limbaugh on ESPN, Jimmy the Greek on ABC Sports, et al).

In high school, I was the minority. I graduated from a school that was 60% black and 40% other (which included Mexican, Hispanic, Asian, and White). You would think this experience would actually make a person more open-minded, but on the contrary, it makes you more jaded. You can tell all these people with white guilt have had little or no interaction with other races. If they did, they would already have their own prejudices and would SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Also in HS, my "crew"consisted of me and another white guy, two Mexicans, and a black guy. That's not to say I didn't hang around with people from all walks of life (my lunch "crew" was the goddamn rainbow coalition with a black woman, an Asian woman, a black man, a white woman, two white guys (me included), and a Mexican girl). Anyway, through this mix, I learned a LOT about prejudice from other races - which surprisingly to some - isn't very different from race to race.

One thing I found is that most people assume that white guys are racist. This is a bad assumption but one I enjoyed because you got to see how other people think of other races. I am not one to "go off" on someone for a racist comment. If I feel it's directed at a "group" I let it slide; however, if it's directed at someone I know (especially a friend) I will definitely call someone out. Luckily, I never saw anyone - at least in my presence - being outwardly racist toward anyone but me.

I dated a Mexican girl for some time. The first time I was invited to her house (aside from years ago when her sister was one of my girlfriend's good friends) was on 4th of July weekend. It was about 105 degrees outside and humid. In walks her sister (who I knew from high school) and her husband; the first words out of his mouth ... "Man, I'm sweatin' like a nigger trying to read." Eye opener for anyone not me - minorities have prejudices and it's not just white people.

James was part of my High School crew. About 6'5 and skinny, James found a talent for hoops late in life and came from a staunch Catholic upbringing. He related a story to me one time about how he was out with some "thug" friends. The ringleader of the group told James "The first white guy we see we are gonna jump." Luckily, they did not run into anyone that night. James' first thought ... "Man, I hope I don't see anyone I know." This is not a blanket statement by any means, but despite what commercials and modern times would have you believe - there are just as many black racists as there are white racists. Black racists are more violent because they do not need special groups to spread hate (see Aryan Nation, KKK, etc.).

Aside from my last job, I have only been around a handful of Indians (read people from India - dot not feather). One guy I met one night out with a host of others. I really knew very little about the Indian culture (and still know only slightly more) but I realized they have a disdain for Pakistanis. Shortly after 9-11, the gentleman told me the following ... "Pakistanis are either terrorists or they smell like shit; if you meet a showered Pakistani, shoot him before he shoots you!" Obviously it was said in jest (remember, I am the white, racist, ugly-American) but it showed that prejudices are world-wide. I think that sometimes, Americans believe we corner the market on the subject.

I was involved in a cash Fantasy Football League for a number of years. We used to watch the games as a group (for the most part) at a local bar that had NFL Sunday Ticket so we could see all of the games at once. One Arab gentleman - business owner and all-around great guy and family man - was a HUGE Chicago Bear fan. He loved the games as much as I so we became friends quickly. One problem he had though was he was just as big a fan when he watched his FFL guys on Sundays. I remember one Sunday when Shaun Alexander ran for 5 TD's in the first half; after each TD, he would yell "Oh Yeah!!! I own that nigger!" Arabs are not all terrorists. Arabs are not all haters of the United States, and - just like any race or country of origin - they have their own prejudices.

So the question really is, can we be prejudiced against a group and still interact, like and even befriend a member of that group? What the media - and bleeding heart jackasses - do not account for is the fact that yes you can. You can paint broad strokes as long as you are open minded when it comes to individuals. If you think all blacks are untrustworthy and therefore refuse to even acknowledge one in a happenstance meeting or even on a regular basis - you are a racist. If you feel all whites are untrustworthy yet are open minded enough to get to know just one, then you have prejudice but you are not racist. Now, in getting to know that one you decide that you're assumption is correct and cut off all communication with the white race ... you are racist just not a close-minded racist.

OK, let' step back a minute just because maybe some of you are not used to this way of thinking. I believe prejudice is not only common but it is necessary. Let's take for instance the FACT that white people cannot walk through some neighborhoods in Los Angeles. The same with Mexicans in other neighborhoods. The same with blacks in still other neighborhoods. Is it a prejudice to avoid those areas if you are the "unwelcome race"? Yes, but it's also prudent. Someone without prejudice would think nothing of walking into such an area and - more than likely - end up hurt or worse.

OK, to step back even further. Let's look at something most us can relate to since race may hit home too closely. Politics. In my opinion, I find Conservative Republicans completely devoid of thought, who base their decisions and politics on whatever interpretation of the bible they hold, and want to crusade the U.S. policies across the globe. In my opinion, the only difference between them and the Taliban or even Al-Qaida is that they do not adhere to the idiotic letter of the bible with stonings, eye-for-an-eye, and other practices of 2,000 years ago. With that said, Tennessee Jed considers himself a conservative Republican (at least by most of his views) and yet I do not feel that any of the negatives I associate with that political party to be endemic to him ... though I still think he should have his voter card burned, pissed on, and then he should have to relocate to Florida.

The point is, I have a prejudice (not just one mind you). Prejudice can shape our world viewpoint, our lives ... and our relationships but ONLY if we allow it. In life prejudice is practical, asinine, learned, experienced, and even embraced by the ignorant. It is on us to overcome our prejudices in our daily lives, make individual judgments, and only make those judgments on merit and not any outlying factor.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Pro-Choice: For the Children's Sake

It is a well-known fact that many people in this world can barely take care of themselves. So what happens when these people have children? Well, I for one hope the buzz word will be "abortion". For all of you children who have found yourself to my site, I suggest we begin a systematic abortion of your parents. You see; this site is intended for adults and children who have parents like YOURS. Instead of allowing these people to - egads! - reproduce again, I believe it should be your right to realize your parents are worthless and abort them.

I am tired of going to public places and watching parents with out of control children. Is it the child's fault they are a loud, obnoxious, unruly piece of shit? Well yes, but the greater lame falls on the shoulders of the parents. Unless your child is born with gland problems or some other health disorder, there is no reason they should be obese. If your child is not ADHD (and in some cases I doubt this diagnosis as well), then there is no reason they should be an unruly piece of crap that annoys the piss out of me.

When attending a public establishment like an Applebee's or a local sports bar, the patrons are actually there to eat, not babysit your stupid fucking children. Recently I watched a woman allow a 3 and 4 year old run wild at Kep's place. They even played - screaming and yelling the whole way - out of her sight in the gaming area. Of course, they were under the watchful eye of an 11-year old kid who was trying to get them to shut the fuck up and calm down. It amazes me how ignorant people are.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. I go to restaurants and listen to children throw screaming, hissy fits while their parents simply talk over them. Or, even better, the kids run up and down the aisles of a restaurant while annoying patrons and acting as moving obstacles for the waitresses. Of course, the parents chat obliviously because at least the children are not annoying "them".

So for all of you kids out there who recognize your parents when they are described to you, I am asking you to do the humane thing. Whether you simply cut the brake lines to the - without a doubt - SUV they drive, "accidentally" start a gas leak then head over to a friend's house, or go all Menendez brothers on them ... the time is now. I can no longer put up with the stupidity and your example will serve as a shining beacon to all of the morons out there carelessly engaging in unprotected sex.

Please, think of the future idiot children and do the right thing. Abort your parents today!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

For future reference

I understand that having uneducated followers is the corner stone of any violent religion, so I thought I would help Muslim radicals understand a quick geography lesson. This is - of course - in hope that when they start flying planes into buildings, they can figure out if they are in Denmark or in the United States.

Distance between United States and Denmark: 4,500+ miles

Denmark: Smallest of the Scandinavian countries (half the size of the state of Maine), Denmark occupies the Jutland peninsula, a lowland area. The country also consists of several islands in the Baltic Sea; the two largest are Sjælland, the site of Copenhagen, and Fyn. Denmark has a population of roughly 5.5 million.

United States: World Super Power located in North America between Canada and Mexico. An estimated population of 280 million, the majority of whom would like to turn your little piss-pot country into a god damn weigh station for our oil trucks. Our chief export is bullets, bombs and missiles aimed at Islamic extremists.

Dutch or Not Dutch
Mohammed cartoons ... Dutch
World Super Power ... Not Dutch
Detective Wagonbach ... "Dutch" but Not Dutch
Islamic shit bags ... Not Dutch
Goldmember ... Dutch
Dutch Oven ... Not Dutch (trick question)
Islamic extremists demanding an apology ... Not Dutch
Denmark to Islamic extremists, "Suck it" ... Dutch

I hope this infographic helps ...

Monday, February 20, 2006

Tips for a Better "American Idol"

More frontal nudity of the judges. Sex sells ...

Oh yeah, replace the judges with Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and Eliza Dushku. Did you think I wanted to see Randy Jackson in a thong? Also, how does one allow a British guy to pick an "American Idol". That would be like letting France run our military draft when it gets reinstated.

Supply Ryan Seacrest with razor blades, full bottles of sleeping pills, and nooses for his exit interviews of loser contestants. Better yet, pair the not-so-enigmatically-gay Seacrest with Nelson Muntz to shout "Hah-Haw!" every time some loser comes out heart-broken.

Three words, baby: More William Hung! I personally am gearing up for Willy's latest release set to help fund raising for the Republican party. Tentative title is "Hung like an Elephant".

Jerry Spring-esque smack downs between fat, loud contestants and the judges. Steve Wilko to act as referee only.

Gangsta Rap wanna-bes shooting it out in line for the audition. This should help narrow down the contestants long before they make asses of themselves inside.

Scrap the phone voting for a Palestinian Authority election process. Our new American Idol is ... Osama Bin Laden. Cut to Osama hugging his opponent and then detonating the entire building and the morons who watch the show.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Why Gay Rights Activists feel the need to Pound Brokeback Mountain up our collective asses?

In all fairness, I have not and will not see Brokeback Mountain. It's not because of homophobia, heterophobia, or even Gyllenhallaphobia (wathcing another shitty movie with Jake Gyllenhal). I hate love stories; I don't care if it's about gay cowboys, straight Eastern Bloc European women, or some dumbass movie about a notebook and two old geezers (screw you Gina).

Why is it that any critic who does not proclaim this as the greatest story ever about gay cowboys need to fear reprisal from the Gay and Lesbian coalitions as being labeled a "homophobe". Gay rights advocates are trying to thrust "gay" love stories into the forefront of accepted culture much like the re-birth of the lesbian movement in recent years. The problem, however, exists in the idea behind "gay" sex and "gay" relationships. The culture as a whole seems perfectly at peace (or at least tolerant) of gay men and their relationships.

Main stream media and pop culture is filled with gay men from Barney Frank to Elton John. When Ryan Seacrest finally comes out of the closet, he will be recognized as one of the most famous and popular gay men for teenagers and adolescence. Gay Pride parades happen in major cities around the country with nary a batted eye. Will and Grace has been on so long you would think it were about gay doctors during the Korean War. Congress passes bills protecting gay rights; states pass laws allowing gay marriage; and yet it's not enough. Everyone must embrace "Brokeback Mountain" as the greatest love story of all times just because it shows two gay men (hardly a new topic), really shitty dialog (if there is any), and a taboo of making them cowboys (which was stolen straight out of South Park). Whoopty shit.

With all that said, there will never be an acceptance of people rushing out to watch or buy "gay love" videos. Here come the stats to prove it:

99.99999% of men love to watch hot lesbians in action
99.99999% of women love to get oral sex
99.99999% of men never want to see male on male action no matter how "hot" the guys are
99.99999% of women who will not have anal sex unless alcohol and roofies are involved
In a population of (roughly) 300,000,000 people, that leaves the people who want to actually watch Brokeback Mountain at around: 60.

Girls Gone Wild, a huge hit with guys (and some women) of all ages.
Guys Gone Wild - not so much. Also, this was based on a schtick on NYPD Blue years ago. One informant asked for help in getting his video cameras returned from Miami. He told the detectives, "You ever hear of Girls Gone Wild? Well, our idea was to go down to the beach and tape guys flashing the camera. We were going to call it 'Guys Gone Nuts'."

Wild Things - a huge spring board for Denise Richards.
Death Trap - no one could look at "Super Man" the same again.

So in a world where movies like "Brokeback Mountain" are met with not only critical acclaim, but mainstream acceptance and no one burning down theaters, how much farther do we have to go before we can be honest about calling a movie an overhyped turd even if it's an overhyped, gay turd?

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Original Muslim Jokes

It was only a matter of time before I felt the need to lock my doors, barricade my windows, stock up on ammo, and have at it with the Muslim world. I feel it is my right ... no, my patriotic duty to disparage an entire religion of extreme radicals bent on the destruction of any person who does not believe in their invisible men. Here comes the jihad ...

A Muslim walks into a bar ... and promptly explodes.

Did you hear the one about the U.S. and Palestine. You see, the U.S. pushed for the State of Palestine to hold an election for "democracy"-sake. And - get ready to laugh - Palestine did it and the violent, radical, Muslim terrorist organization Hamas won the power majority in the government. Man, my sides are hurting.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. How about the one where Iran starts enriching uranium and threatening Europe, the U.S., and Israel with nuclear weapons? Isn't that a hoot?!?

The new Muslim bumper stickers:
My little jihadine suicide-bombed you and your honor student.
Allah is my co-pilot ... because Mohammed Atta is my pilot!
You can't spell "infidel" without D-I-E!

Did you hear about the one where some guy made a cartoon depicting Mohammed, and a hundred thousand Muslims rioted around the world and threatened violence to all foreigners (read non-Muslims)?

New Muslim t-shirt: Under my burqua, veil, hate-filled eyes and male-repression, I am wearing nothing at all ... (Please don't stone me to death)

Now that I have gone and done it, I am sweating like a Muslim trying to read. If you see me in public, you may want to stand at least 25 yards from me as to avoid the collateral damage from the suicide bombers assigned to take me out.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Real Estate: A Bastion of Losers, Cheats, and Retards

Why is it that the largest purchases of our life are handled by people barely qualified to flip burgers? My wife is an honest real estate agent, but the money these people make for doing the most mundane of chores is a racket in and of itself. Not only that, we fund this transaction through loan officer whose main qualification is that they know how to lie and gouge you within the limits of the law. Here is just some examples of incomepetence, deception, and out-and-out gouging from these highly-educated, highly-ethical professionals in the industry. This list is only through the process of buying two homes:

From Buying our first home:
- Sheila Watson, our first realtor, told us that getting a home inspection was "a waste of money". Apparently, Sheila didn't realize that she was in violation of the law by telling us this since she is supposed to look out for our best interest. We recently spent a couple hundred dollars and several man hours fixing our basement wall which was rotted out from two poorly placed cement blocks on our patio. If there were any structural damage, we would be suing the shit out of her and Maloof Realty.

- The same Sheila "worked" with the selling agent of our current home to get us up to the price we paid for the home. I didn't say "negotiated" there did I? Sheila told us during the process "She thinks if we go to X amount, her client will go for it." In actuality, her and the other real estate agent bartered with each other to come up with the price. Collusion is definitely a good sign you have a shitty real estate agent.

- The same idiot from before, suggested we close on the house in the middle of the month because it was conducive to her schedule. What she failed to point out is the extra interest we would have to pay for that month on our mortgage. Her schedule cost us an extra $300 in closing costs.

From getting a mortgage for our new home:
- Heidi Picco, the loan officer from Countrywide Home Loans in Peoria, suggested I pay off my 7% interest car loan with a high-interest credit card to lower my monthly expenses. That is some solid advice for anyone with an IQ in the upper, single digits.

- The same Heidi Picco also would not even give me a quote on a home loan. This is the same company who has held my home loan for the last three years (of which I have never missed a single payment or even been late on a payment). She insisted that I get a "Good Faith Estimate" from another loan officer and then they would see what they could do. Apparently, Heidi's family tree includes the guy who looked at the wheel and said "great invention but I could have done better". When I realized I was not getting a 2nd paycheck for being Heidi's assistant, I decided to go elsewhere.

- Neil Leaves, the loan officer from GMAC, told me that we could get a home without escrow (paying the taxes and homeowner's insurance with our mortage every month). After signing the papers and the "Good Faith Estimate" (which is a written, binding, legal document that apparently isn't worth a roll of Cottonelle), the loan processor called to inform us that we would have to escrow. Her exact words were, "Neil should have told you that." The difference in monthly epenses comes out to about $350 per month. One would think that was a pretty important bit of information to have up front.

- Mike Boehme from Associated Mortgage Capital took the cake. Seventeen days before closing, he told us that Fannie Mae would not underwrite our loan at the stated loan rate that he gave us. So much for a "Good Faith Estimate". Instead our loan rate was to go up 0.75%. It doesn't sound like much until you realize that a 30-year, fixed-rate mortgage would cost us about an extra $22,000 over the life of the loan. Mike Boehme is still wondering why I fired him on the spot and why GMAC is financing the loan ... Though, to be honest, I am still trying to figure out why GMAC is financing the loan as well.

If you need a good real estate agent, drop my wife an e-mail at pam.lonteen@coldwellbanker.com ... if you are looking for a competent, honest loan officer, join the club.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Random Musings 9: President Bush Doesn't Care about Muppet People

The face of Mohammed has appeared in a pancake of a woman in a trailer park in Alabama. Thousands of extremist Muslims plan to kidnap foreigners and Aunt Jemima for this attack on their faith.

An effective broadband advertisement: "After switching from dial up, I can now download enough Hentai to increase masturbation from 5 to 75 times per day."

The MasterCard ad with MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson) was by far my favorite Super Bowl commercial. Priceless. If you haven't seen it, it's well worth finding on the internet.

If a tree grows in the forest with a face of Mohammed in it's bark, will thousands of Muslims know to attack it ... and how long will it be before they blame the United States?

Sign of the apocalypse: A sequel to "You Got Served" is already in the making. Thank you Hollywood for serving us up another steamy pile.

George Deutsch (prononounced DEUCHE as far as I am concerned) has resigned with NASA. This would be a no-news story except for the fact that he tried to introduce "Intelligent Design" to our space program ... oh yeah, and his resume contained more lies than a pe-war intelligence report.

As the Enron trial continues poorly for the defendants, Ken Lay SERIOUSLY considers changing his name before going to Federal Pound-Me-In-The-Ass Prison.

In his continuous effort to level the playing field between Texas education and the rest of the U.S., Bush and company plan to cut Corporation for Public Broadcasting funding by 13%. Upcoming scenes from a very special Sesame Street:

Elmo: "Elmo to Mr. President, Elmo to Mr. President. Come in Mr. President."
George: "This is George."
Elmo: "Suck it you mother-#$$@@#, %*&$-sucking, piece of monkey %#@! ... oh yeah, Elmo doesn't love you, you %$#%-ing $%#@#%-bag!!"

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Fuck Islamic Extremists. Fuck Mohammed. And Fuck the Kid Gloves.

A cartoon can cause a fucking Jihad. Are we going to learn that these times call for more extreme measures when dealing with these pricks?

I am so sick of this I can hardly look at the world nowadays. Are people finally going to realize how dangerous these fucking extremists are? It's not enough they fly planes into our buildings, kill innocent victims on a daily basis, kidnap anyone of a different faith and torture and behead them ... there are still apologists. People who claim "Christianity is just as bad." The only problem is, I haven't seen Pat Roberts and the fucking 700 club dressed for war surrounding a newspaper. I haven't heard the call of Christianity to begin a Crusade against Arab Muslims. I must have missed that in my daily affirmations.

This is not WWII and we are sending the Japanese to camps because they may be spies. This is not Viet Nam where we know where the NVA's home base is. This is our fucking reality. Islamic extremists exist throughout the world even in the U.S.

Currently, Muslim violence is sky-rocketing because fucking Denmark made a cartoon. Other European countries published it as well. The U.S. is refusing to publish it out of "respect for Islam". It is not out of "respect", it is out of fear. Someone finally realized these fuckers are as crazy as bat shit and more violent than we had imagined. It's about fucking time.

As for "news" agencies limiting what they say out of fear of reprisal, I say "pussies". If I had any cartoon talent, I would draw Mohammed getting ass fucked by Satan on top of a pile of dead Jihaders with the caption "Where's your God now, bitch?!?" Fuck Islam.

Does this make me a racist? Do I give a fuck? I am tired of this bullshit. We have airport screenings where a 60-year old white woman gets pulled out of line for security sake. Here's a hint, 90% of these assholes are from the Middle East. Fuck the ACLU and start targeting anyone of middle eastern descent. There is a reason it is called "racial profiling" ... it's because if you are sure there is a terrorist in a line up of an Englishman, an American, a Frenchman, and an Arab ... 99.9% of the time it's the fucking Arab. Racial profiling is not racism, it's using fucking common sense. If I find crayon on the wall in my house, I don't interrogate the fucking dog!

And for any of you apologists who will respond "People like you are the reason they hate us." Good! Get fucked. Newsflash dickface, do you know what happened to peace activists who went to Iraq? They were kidnapped, tortured, and killed because they were Americans. I don't feel the need to feel sorry for violent extremists who use a flavor of the month excuse to terrorize the world.

Then - of course - we have Iran threatening to cut off oil if they are not allowed to continue on their nuclear enrichment program. Let's see, a known terrorist state with nuclear capabilities. That's not scary at all is it? I have an idea, let's give them a demonstration of our own. Let's drop a fucking nuclear weapon on Tehran and turn fucking Iran into a parking lot. I believe that would show them the kind of power a nuclear weapon can unleash and just why we do not think they should possess them. In a related side show, I propose we do the same to Palestine which really isn't a country, just a state of Muslim extremists from all over the world.

Fuck you hippies, let the war mongering begin.

Thank God for the Assholes at The American Descency Assoication!

Douche Baggery and the Super Bowl

With all of the worlds problems solved, the American Decency Association (or Asshat) takes on the Super Bowl!

February 6, 2006 - Superbowl and the churchThis was a football game. That's all it was. The NFL's championship football game. And corporate America and network television, with each passing year, has blown it into a bigger and bigger financial boondoggle to benefit greedy, financial entrepreneurs - and millions sucker for it in the name of family entertainment - even the church.
Time for a lecture from God-boy.

SuperBowl and the church
As I reviewed the video tape of last night's Superbowl half-time show with Mick Jagger strutting about singing sexualized songs that necessitated ABC edits and with multitudes of cheering ones gathered around the entertainment platform, I was sickened by the many evidences of undiscerning, thoughtless conformity.

I am so glad we have this tool "reviewing" tape that "sickens" him. Apparently, these douche bags have never heard of a remote control.

It's a football game but with all of the fanfare surrounding it you would think that it was a presidential inauguration or the coronation of a king or queen.
It is the biggest football game of the season. It has become a worldwide event. Who the fuck watches a presidential inauguration?

This was a football game. That's all it was. The NFL's championship football game. And corporate America and network television, with each passing year, has blown it into a bigger and bigger financial boondoggle to benefit greedy, financial entrepreneurs - and millions buy into it in the name of family entertainment.
First, I always love to repeat the exact same paragraph at least a couple of times when I am talking out of my ass. Second, football is not "family entertainment". It is a violent sport mostly watched by men drinking beer, eating pizza, and gambling on the game. I'm not sure where the "family entertainment" part comes into play.

And the Christian church.
Time for a soap box!

Let's all gather around the television set and conform to whatever is foisted before our eyes when we don't know what's coming next.
Apparently, this douche bag is clairvoyant. The entire purpose of television is to show us something we have not seen. Also, there is still a remote control available.

So here we are gathered in our living rooms and here's an ad for Pizza Hut featuring Jessica Simpson with an adolescent boy with sexual allusions of seduction.
If I said it once, I've said it a million times, Jessica Simpson is the anti-christ.

Or it might be that you are suddenly hit with a movie promo that shows a married man ogling the prevalent cleavage of a female jogger.
Read: I can't outright blame the Jews but you see where I am going with this.

And as you are gathered, what do you say to your kids or your youth group at these moments?
Well, first if you gather up a youth group to watch a violent sport filled with beer commercials and over the top ads that cost $3 million per spot, I would say "Hey look at the dumbass who organized a Christian youth group to watch this shit!"

How long before we just say as Christians enough is enough!Yes, bring on censorship! If it was good enough for the Romans - you know with the whole killing of Christ thing - then it's good enough for us!

I don't want even one of my loved ones sitting before these flagrant displays to think that I approve of this fiasco of materialism, sexual innuendo and blatant godlessness.
Then shut the fuck up and change the fucking channel you pompous, self-important, holier-than-thou, douche bag! Why is it that every religious zealot believes that their PERSONAL outrage should dictate to the world. You are no better than fucking Muslim terrorist , you simply choose not to blow yourself up ... which atcually is a fucking shame.

And what do we do with verses like:
"And be not conformed to this world ...." [Romans 12:1,2]"
I will place no wicked thing before my eyes." [Psalm 101:3a]"
Love not the world ... the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life ..." I John 2:15-17]
"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness ...." [Matthew 6:33,34]
I see your bible verses and raise you:
"let the good times roll let them knock you around" [The Cars-Let the Good Times Roll]
"And I think to myself, what a wonderful world" [Louie Armstrong-What a Wonderful World]
"... she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smells funny" [The Bloodhound Gang-Kiss Me where it Smells Funny]

It disgusts and saddens me when churches, too, fall right in line with the world in needing to have a Superbowl Party. Baby Jesus cries because people watch football.

For what purpose? What can they possibly hope to accomplish in the name of Jesus Christ who calls us out to be holy as He is holy? [I Peter 1:15,16]
Uhm, religion boy, does watching television serve a purpose for Christ? If it does, then Christ REALLY loves me!

Instead, why don't we behave and live lives that are Christian on the evening of the Superbowl (and every day as Christ calls us to live)?
Jesus, what fucking Super Bowl party were you at?

Visit a loved one.
Probably because they do not want to be bothered with your dumb ass while they watch the Super Bowl.

Visit a lonely one at a senior citizen facility.
So they can scream incoherently because your blocking their television ... and get off their damn lawn!

Have some lonely ones over for food and fellowship and play board games.
They cancelled. Your a douche bag and they don't want to listen to your sermons ... plus the Super Bowl is on.

Have a small group Bible study.
Awesome! Sitting around with like-minded halfwits bitching about the Super Bowl. Count me in!

But, to sit and let the world (corporate America) pour out its multimillion dollar ads with sexual imagery and themes undermining Biblical standards of holiness, righteousness, purity and modesty, doesn't make any sense - in His name.
Since when do we sit around in God's name to watch television? Dear Lord please bless these Cheesy Poofs and Miller Lites. Please allow Seattle to score just one more touchdown so I can cover the spread. And dear lord, if you would like me to do a line of blow off the stripper's ass give me absolutely no sign whatsoever ... Thy will be done (SNNNNOOOOORRRRTTTT).

Would Jesus be pleased?
Not really, he took Seattle and the points, but Abraham made a killing! On a side note: ya gotta love a good bible pun.

See also our bulletin insert from 2004
... bulletin insert tentatively named - Things Douche Bags with too much time on their hands care about.

In closing, the slippery slope exists. Without prayerful involvement, this, too, is an area where things will only get worse.Speak up.
Bring on the censorship!

American Decency Association
Am I D Ass

Bill Johnson, President
Personally I am offended by his name which is two innuendos about penises. Willy Johnson, please change your name or else I will write a shitty letter explaining why God hates you.

If anyone feels Bill Johnson sucks big donkey balls, you can drop him a letter at:
I am personally offended by this e-mail address because it contains the letters "BJ". Also, some youths may believe the "b" stands for "Big"; we spoke with Mrs. Ivana Johnson and she says, sadly it does not.
My own personal belief is that anyone in this association should be spade or neutered so they cannot contaminate the rest of the world. That would be the decent thing to do.